GOV. McDONNELL'S OPEN LETTER TO FORMER SLAVES OF VIRGINIA
This entry was posted on 4/8/2010 9:57 AM and is filed under uncategorized.
Governor Bob McDonnell of Virginia was perplexed.
He couldn't understand what all the hubbub was about. After all, the
proclamation of Confederate History Month in the state of Virginia was
strictly intended to enhance the study of history and to promote tourism
in the state.
What could be so wrong about that?
Everybody likes tourism, don't they?
After all, it's the 150th anniversary since the start of the War of
Northern Aggression, which everybody knows was fought for things like
state sovereignty and things of that nature, and this was just to honor
the sacrifices of our brave boys in gray. So what's the big deal.
He had fully expected the liberals to get their panties in a twist
because they get upset about everything anyway but he didn't expect the
whole damn world to get all frothy at the mouth. After all, this had
been a tradition going on...what...13 years now, not counting the years a
Democrat was in the statehouse...a fine old tradition, and Virginia
thrives on tradition.
Just because he forgot to mention slavery.
He thought he made it clear to the Washington Post when he said that he
had not included slavery because,
"there were any number of
aspects to that conflict between the states. Obviously, it involved
slavery. It involved other issues. But I focused on the ones I thought
were most significant for Virginia."
Then people got all in an uproar because they thought he didn't think
slavery was significant.
So, Gov. McDonnell thought he needed to write a letter to explain the
omission, you know, to explain better why he forgot to mention the
slaves.
Here's how the letter went:
"To the former slaves of Virginia and your descendents:
"I am sorry I forgot to mention you in my proclamation about Confederate
History Month. It was not my intention to offend you.
"The thing is, we always overlooked the slaves. It's because we didn't
think of them as people. We didn't even really think of them as
property. When it came to field hands, we thought of them as
machinery. You know, like a good combine, or a good thresher.
Cotton-pickers. That kind of thing. The slaves were there to provide
the massive agricultural industry that enriched our coffers and built
our mansions and made us fat and wealthy.
"This is why we didn't think of you when we put together the history
books.
"And like, in the house? We would pick the ones who were the most
physically attractive and the best-spoken, but even then, they were
supposed to be unobtrusive. NO SASS! They were supposed to wait on us,
see. Quietly, in the background. Fan us in the sweltering Southern
heat. Cook our food in the suffocating kitchens located separately from
the big house so the rest of the house wouldn't get so hot. They were
even supposed to nurse the babies for our Southern ladies who were too
delicate for such a demanding task.
"And if the Southern gentlemen wanted to, they could grab up a pretty
slave girl and have their way with her any time they pleased, and if she
got pregnant or otherwise embarrassed the family, she and/or her baby
could be sold, or he could just be shipped off to school and nobody
would be the wiser.
"These things were always handled in just this quiet Southern way, you
see. So, surely you can understand how it is that it just slipped my
mind, that whole slavery thing? I mean, we're just used to not thinking
about such unpleasantness.
"We keep insisting that the War Between the States WAS NOT ABOUT SLAVERY
and that many of our Southern leaders opposed it, but the truth of the
matter is that, without slavery, we could not have maintained our
economy and, in fact, we did not. It collapsed. Took almost a century
to rebuild and still has some of the biggest pockets of poverty in the
whole country.
"I mean, you can not run those great big plantations by paying field
hands for labor you used to get, basically, for free. Even Scarlett
O'Hara, after the war, wound up making her fortune by using prison
labor, when slavery was no longer an option to her.
"So anyway, like I was saying. Here in the South, we just sometimes
forget all about that slavery thing because, well, we're just not used
to thinking about it in that way.
"I mean, to us, it was commerce, see? Surely you can understand.
"Like...tourism.
"So, as you can see. I'm sorry and everything, but I really don't get
all the fuss. I really don't.
"Sincerely,
"Governor Bob McDonnell, Republican, Virginia, Confederate State of
America"